Mountains out of Molehills

Side quest, level 15. 81st of 102 in play order.

Quest giver: S'nairoh, Western La Noscea (X 26.7, Y 25.5).

Next: Walk of Shame ›

Steps

Dispatch hedgemoles.
Report to S'nairoh.

Journal

Storm Private S'nairoh smells of salt, malt, and bad ideas, and appears intent on securing your services again.
Despite your misgivings, you accept a task from S'nairoh. Leave her to her dubious schemes, and slay five hedgemoles.
With the grace of the Twelve, you prevailed against these mostly harmless creatures. Report the happy news to S'nairoh.
The hedgemoles had no designs on Aleport. They must be commended for fighting so bravely for their lives. Not all is lost, since the good private will now spend her diminished coin on leeches rather than ale.

Hidden

Lore Just as its name says, Aleport does a good trade in grog. Low taxes on many kinds of brewed drinks help this trade.

Easter egg The phrase 'mostly harmless' is what The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy says about Earth. S'nairoh

stops at 'clear and present'. It comes from the common phrase 'clear and present danger'.

Easter egg S'nairoh

blames too much ale-fed blood and rushes off to be treated with leeches. This jokes about medieval medicine based on humours, or body fluids. It used leeches when the humours were out of balance.

Spoiler about later in the story

Foreshadowing S'nairoh's 'storm private, second class' is a real Maelstrom rank. If you join the Maelstrom later in the main story, you start one rank below her. You start as Storm Private Third Class.

In-game text Encyclopaedia Eorzea says adamantoises are huge tortoises from the island of Thavnair. They were brought to Eorzea by mistake. They came mixed in with a shipment of dodo eggs.

Title reference To make a mountain out of a molehill means to make a big fuss over nothing. Here it happens almost for real. S'nairoh

thinks a few hedgemoles are an attack of adamantoises, which are giant tortoises.

Characters 2

S'nairoh
Storm Private S'nairoh, smelling of salt and ale, wants your help again. Her commander has warned her pay is at risk after the puk mix-up.
What you know from earlier quests 1
- #80 Keep Your Day Job: S'nairoh talks herself through arming the cannon while you fight; her partner C'mell is missing. The 'enemy' is only newborn puks, flying beasts that never threatened Aleport. She is let down: she joined the Maelstrom to fight, not to break up brawls.
Falkbryda
Falkbryda is a commander over S'nairoh. S'nairoh only mentions her; she does not appear.

What happens in this quest spoilers for this quest

S'nairoh mistakes harmless hedgemoles for an attack of adamantoises (giant tortoises) and must stand down again. She hopes to become an officer, but fears losing pay she spends on ale. Blaming too much ale-fed blood, she rushes off to be treated with leeches.
Falkbryda: S'nairoh says Commander Falkbryda threatened to cut her pay if she caused another false alarm. After the hedgemole mix-up, S'nairoh expects the commander to cut it.

What the Japanese and French versions say 4

Japanese

EN Mountains out of Molehills · 'Save Aleport from those bloodbaths on four legs, and we'll see what the commander has to say about my pay then!'

JA 「黒渦団新兵、焦燥す」, 'The Maelstrom Recruit Frets' · 「早く認めてもらって、エラくならなければ……。」, 'I must get noticed fast and rise in rank...'

焦燥 (shōsō) is anxious impatience, and S'nairoh shows it. The English S'nairoh only thinks of her pay.

EN 'Well, my lady most gallant/my good man, it is called Aleport.'

JA 「……このエールポートでは、酒税が優遇されてるんです。だから、エール取引が盛んなわけで、そうすると、ついついグビグビと……。」, '...Here in Aleport, liquor gets a tax break. That's why the ale trade thrives, and then, before I know it, it's glug, glug...'

S'nairoh explains Aleport's low tax herself, and keeps drinking.

EN 'It could be that my humours are out of balance from a surfeit of ale?'

JA 「実は最近、遠くを見ようとすると目がかすむのです。最初はカノン砲の取扱説明書の見すぎかと思ったんですが、単なるエールの飲みすぎのように思えてきました……。」, 'Actually, lately my eyes blur when I look into the distance. At first I thought it came from reading the cannon manual too much, but now it seems to be just too much ale...'

S'nairoh's false alarms have this cause. The English never mentions her eyes.

French

Idiom

EN 'Storm Private S'nairoh smells of salt, malt, and bad ideas, and appears intent on securing your services again.'

FR «S'nairoh est une dure à cuire et souhaite une fois de plus faire appel à vous.», 'S'nairoh is a tough cookie and wants to call on you once again.'

Literally 'hard to cook', une dure à cuire means a tough sort. The English journal mocks her smell instead.

Dialogue 9 lines

Accepting the quest

S'nairoh

Well, I made a right mess of things the other day. Commander Falkbryda said she'd dock my pay if I pulled something like that again. At least I didn't get tossed in the brig like C'mell.

DE Für meine etwas übereifrige Handhabung der Haubitzen habe ich einen ordentlichen Rüffel von meiner Vorgesetzten kassiert. ‘For my somewhat overzealous handling of the howitzers I got a proper telling-off from my superior.’ German names the offence — overeager handling of the howitzers; English stays vague and mentions C'mell in the brig.
JA 独断でカノン砲を使おうとした件で、上官に怒られ、これ以上やると減給だと警告されてしまいました……。 ‘Over the matter of trying to use the cannon on my own authority, my superior got angry and warned me that any more would mean a pay cut...’ Japanese says exactly what she did: tried to fire the cannon without orders. No C'mell or brig.

I have been very chary since, you can be certain of that. I've little enough coin as is in the pay purse to slake my thirst with. But this time, aye, there's a real attack on Aleport, and off I go to arm the cannon!

DE Deswegen traue ich mich auch nicht, ihr von der neuesten Bedrohung zu erzählen ... ‘That is why I don't dare tell her about the latest threat ...’ English says she has been very careful since; German says she doesn't dare tell her superior about the new threat.

Save Aleport from those bloodbaths on four legs, and we'll see what the commander has to say about my pay then!

JA 早く認めてもらって、エラくならなければ……。 ‘I must get noticed fast and rise in rank...’ 焦燥 (shōsō) is anxious impatience, and S'nairoh shows it. The English S'nairoh only thinks of her pay.
DE Die Stadt, nein, ganz La Noscea ist verloren, wenn wir nicht sofort handeln! ‘The town, no, all of La Noscea is lost if we don't act at once!’ English hopes saving Aleport will change the commander's word on her pay; German cries all La Noscea is lost.

Adventurer, for Aleport and glory, slow down the horde! I'm certain to be ready by the time you slaughter five!

Report to Private S'nairoh

S'nairoh

Well slayed! Or do I mean slain? I shall need to know these things if I'm to be officer! I've got the powder and ball loaded and primed! Now for the slow match─hark, a dispatch!

DE Dann besteht noch Hoffnung für La Noscea! ‘Then there is still hope for La Noscea!’ English jokes about "slayed" or "slain" and becoming an officer; German says there is still hope for La Noscea.
DE Ich werde die Angreifer in tausend Stücke ... ‘I will (blast) the attackers into a thousand pieces ...’ English has a dispatch interrupt her; German has her start to vow the attackers will go into a thousand pieces.
JA よーし、今度こそドカーンと……。 ‘Alright, this time for sure, with a ka-boom...’ English has a dispatch interrupt her; Japanese has her about to fire the cannon with a boom.

“Stand down forthwith”? Not again! But surely these adamantoises are a clear and present─ ...Hedgemoles? You're certain? Well, but, that's like an adamantoise except, ah, weak and not at all dangerous...

DE Was sagst du da? ‘What are you saying?’ German: the adventurer tells her there is no attack; English has a written stand-down order and her adamantoise mix-up.
JA もしかして、また放っておいてもいい魔物……？ ‘Could they be, once again, monsters that can simply be left alone...?’ Japanese has no stand-down order and no adamantoise mix-up; she just realises they are harmless again.

Why, oh why? Perhaps I have been cursed by some enemy? Not very likely for a mere storm private, second class or no. Now the commander will dock my pay and leave my whistle dry as dust.

DE Sollte ich mich etwa wieder vertan haben? ‘Could I have got it wrong again?’ English wonders if some enemy cursed her; German wonders if she made a mistake again.
JA ああ、また空回りしちゃった……。 ‘Ah, my zeal came to nothing again...’ English wonders if some enemy cursed her; Japanese says her eager effort was wasted again.

Well, my lady most gallant/my good man, it is called Aleport. I've spent a deal of time admiring the undersides of many a tavern table, I can tell you that!

JA ……このエールポートでは、酒税が優遇されてるんです。だから、エール取引が盛んなわけで、そうすると、ついついグビグビと……。 ‘...Here in Aleport, liquor gets a tax break. That's why the ale trade thrives, and then, before I know it, it's glug, glug...’ S'nairoh explains Aleport's low tax herself, and keeps drinking.
DE Ich möchte nicht daran denken, was für eine Standpauke ich diesmal zu hören bekomme! ‘I don't want to think about what a dressing-down I'll get this time!’ English tells you the town is called Aleport; German dreads the scolding she will get this time.
DE Mir wird sicher der Lohn gekürzt! ‘My pay will surely be cut!’ English jokes she has spent much time under tavern tables; German says her pay will surely be cut.

What? It could be that my humours are out of balance from a surfeit of ale? And thus─I see it now─there is excess blood, which has overfed my martial zeal! [name], your learned ways have shown me the light! Much thanks─I go now to receive a leeching!

DE Ich habe in letzter Zeit ein bisschen zu viel davon gekostet und es trübt mir die Sinne. ‘I've had a bit too much of it lately and it clouds my senses.’ English blames excess blood that overfed her martial zeal; German says the beer clouds her senses.
DE Oh je, ich bekomme schon wieder Durst! ‘Oh dear, I'm getting thirsty again already!’ English has her leave to be leeched; German has her getting thirsty again.
JA 実は最近、遠くを見ようとすると目がかすむのです。 ‘Actually, lately, when I try to look into the distance, my eyes blur.’ English blames excess blood that overfed her martial zeal; Japanese says her eyes blur when she looks far away.